at peace

I feel wonderfully at peace. Life feels kind and busy and enjoyable and eye opening. I am content.
Writing this scares me, what if its not true? these feelings won't last?!
No. But they are how I feel now.
Everything just feels very at ease. As though its all running smoothly and with sufficient purpose and relaxation.
Of course, if I delve too deep I can ignite a fire of existentialism in a heart beat but currently, the voices are buried beneath the surface. I think the weather plays a crucial role in my mood. Today, its bright and fresh and the sun is shining and the birds are signing and it has an immense sense of hope. Every year, on days such as this, I get a tingle of excitement, a flourish of motivation to create and explore and a strong sense that life is good.
The year when the sun stops making me feel so free I'll panic, but until then I am indulging in the bliss of my life sans responsibility.

My window is open, I am (avoiding) tidying my room, exciting things are on the horizon and its feeling good.

Sending these sunny vibes to you all.

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musings #2

in the past 2 weeks I have: felt relieved that January was over, worked a lot, cried a bit, finally tracked down vegan Ben and Jerry's, done yoga for 12 consecutive days, made a lot of plans, finished 2 books, done a lot of online shopping (and sent a lot of parcels back), started a French class, survived a mob of 20 drunk 16 year olds descending on my house, felt shit and then good and then shit, been to the theatre (to see Ballet Rambert's Ghost Dances–v. good) cooked a lot of new recipes and drank a lot of G&T's.

Its a bright Sunday morning and, despite having work later today and a headache, I have a good feeling about today. Mornings like this are my favourite, when you feel the crisp inklings of Spring. We're going out for brunch this morning for which I am greatly anticipating some pancakes. In this moment, I feel at peace. Its been a challenging few days and I find myself thinking about the future too much but good things are coming.

In the mundane, I am planning to read a lot of books, teach myself some basic Spanish and seek some premeditative therapy because I'm starting to become very, very scared about Oxford and whether I'll cope. I'm also trying to be more conscious about my plastic usage and ethical footprint and its something thats playing on my mind a lot.
In more fun news, the future is -very- exciting and March through to August are going to be pretty fun months. When work is painful I remind myself I couldn't book all the spontaneous planes and trains without those hours of dulness. Planned I have trips to Barcelona, Oxford, Brighton, Suffolk, Paris, Budapest, Corsica and Marrakesh along with tickets to Matthew Bourne's Cinderella and the Guilty Feminist. I'm also hoping to visit some of my friends before easter, if I have any time, because I miss them. Fuck, man. Its gonna be so good. And, whilst my bank balance might be crying, we're still planning another holiday. Oh well–gap yah and all.

I suppose if that mood board is anything to go off, I've been spending my time dreaming of travelling and finding solace in other people feeling as lost and crying as often as me. The musings above are just a few I've found on Pinterest whilst procrastinating–you can find the others here.
I really like making visual boards of the things I've been thinking and feeling and dreaming of over the past few weeks. So sorry there haven't been many photos but idk just not really feeling photography at the moment. Or blogging particularly. But I need to put my thoughts somewhere, update the diary, document the moment. You get the picture

I hope you're all well. I'll be back.