sun

My room is blessed with the soft caressing of evening sun. It graces my wall adorned with photos and post cards and gives a sweet sense of comfort in this unfamiliar space. The room, the city, the people, its becoming more familiar and I perhaps have more of a sense of routine and purpose. Maybe not. But I'm enjoying it (except not right now because I'm existentialisng, hence the retreat to my room in which I rarely spend time).

The sun soothes me. Its warmth makes my body relax, its brightness fills me with life and energy and its a returning reminder that life is good and nature magical. Several days in the past few weeks have been so sunny and I've taken my work outside to be both distracted by friends walking by and to feel its heat as I read.

The sunsets here are also magical. So often I have embarked on a run across the meadows or looked out of the library window to see the sky dusted in a soft pink, illuminated by a euphoric glow. Its magical and I love it.

Today was a bit rocky but I stroked a dog and ate biscuits and drank tea with friends until the early hours and really, it was all okay. Even the bad days now replicate the good days 12 months ago.
I just need to become more efficient at time usage, rely on lists a little more and seek out a few more clubs and societies that offer weekly structure, because a history degree lacks that.
I probably also need to sleep for a few more hours and spend a little more time alone to do the soul soothing activities that are necessary for a happy brain.

So I'm loving this undeserved treat of autumn sun and feeling content with friends and fun and work but also need to remind myself that uni doesn't create immunity to every day emotions. They are still there and will always be there.

a breath

Here are just some pics from the city that is now home.
Its all a bit mad, my brain needs a few minutes of quiet. A bit of familiarity.
Its all amazing and a privilege and astounding and rigorous and exciting but overwhelming and underwhelming and exhausting and maybe I just need to allow days, weeks, months to find my feet.

Of course I do. Everything is so new and stimulating and man, I haven't done this education thang in too long. But I spent last week getting drunk, meeting new people, thriving on euphoria, this week in the library and exploring and seeing Hilary Clinton and running and a little bit of crying. But its good and its fun, but its also okay that bits of it aren't. That bits are scary, that home feels a long way away.
I need to establish a balance of work and fun, routine, re-connect with the bits of my life that are outside this (blog, letter writing, watching trash, reading) because I neglected them and my brain suffered.
So it feels I've lived a life time in 10 days. I need to remind myself that I am here, a sense that will become overwhelmingly real on Saturday, clad in our 'subfusc' (Oxford nd its wankery language am i right?) marching into a latin ritual. Lmao.
But also that bits can be bad and the whole experience can still be good.
It is good. Actually, its very good.
This city is amazing.

Tell me about ur lives g's. I need some familiarity and grounding xox