I'm not sure about my last post. But I need it up there to remind me how I was feeling. That's the purpose of this, for me at least. A perpetual reminder of how life was and how I was feeling and an indicator of growth and richness and sadness and progress.

Alas, here's just some things I've liked recently, or thought about a lot.
I'm obsessing over 2 specific Monet paintings. Soleil Levant and this one. Those colours man. If I were to die tomorrow, I'd like to do so in the south of France. Somewhere near the sea, in the sun, with a gentle breeze, tucked away from the madness of life. I'm scared of death, but thought of dying somewhere so perfect offers a warm comfort.
I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. My brain gets tired from thinking some times. The 2 hot topics of this week have been: what the history of the body can reveal about the relationship between gender and biological difference, and whether society needs religion. The first was an essay, the second the motion of this weeks rum nd rights. I seem to spend a lot of time thinking and discussing what gender is. It is definitely a social construct, but I think its relationship with bodily difference is complex. There definitely is a relationship, but I think maybe its more to do with the manipulation and exploitation of anatomical difference, for political advancement, cultural representation, demographic gain, rather than inherent biological difference.

The second question, I am undecided. All the points I made and thoughts that came to mind appeared to suggest we do, but I don't know if that's what I actually think. All I've concluded so far is: the concept of religion in a modern society needs to be reconsidered, nd white straight men have such a way of speaking. Privilege, innit.

The inherently problematic nature of history has also been prominent in my thoughts, but I think maybe this is still too complex to fully process, because its sort of questioning everything. Validity, euro-centric domination, bias–fundamentally, can we ever actually know? (no) (but that's quite interesting).

The playlist to work this term has been sheku-kanneh mason. Listen to deep river. Fuck me. I'm properly into classical music atm nd when its good it makes me wanna cry a bit lol.
I've definitely not been sleeping enough, but that's not something I've loved.
I've also been consuming so much dried mango, having peng breakfasts because my mum brought me so many treats when she came to visit, drinking a lot of coffee and probs eating too much chocolate.

Uhm yeah. I'm loving my friends a lot (esp. one's that forgive u when ur a dick), and this night off because I accidentally handed my essay in a day early (woo for reading emails wrong), feel I deserve it nd am actually just fucking tired.

Hope u are all sweet. Stay that way! What have u been looooving?


  1. Sounds like you've been having some interesting af conversations! Studying history must be at once incredible and mind wrenching bc you're studying what it is we think we know about the world. Sounds like life is a lot and ... not a lot at the same time and thats okay!! Idek what ive been loving ... lifes been weird af recently!!! Actually we did have some glorious weather last week, ive been playing the guitar even tho i dont know how to play, ive been writing poetry. Ugh life. Take care of yaself g, sending luv xxxx


    1. oh wow it is but its amazing! Life is always weird, but the sun is always magical. You look after yourself too, we got this!<3

  2. I've been discussing religion a lot lately too! Not in same way as you, but discussions about religion seem to be very popular at the moment!! Hope this week is filled with even more peng breakfasts and more sleep ! x

    1. Bitch i love u so much, need that sleep. Stay sweet <3


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