rain and sun

The sky is a perpetual grey, and it hasn't stopped raining in four days. Spirits are a little brighter than the pathetic fallacy suggests, though. Third year has started differently to others, with restrictions reminiscent of a boarding school (being told off for being in a boys room, scandalous!), but its been fun and chaotic, and we're making it work. 

Alongside returning to libraries, and pleading my way in as I've lost my university card for the fourth time, I've drank a lot of wine, been to a lot of cafes, been dragged on a very muddy and very fast run, illicitly hugged a lot of people, kept my crying to a minimum, and felt a strange sort of stability.

These days are odd and uncertain, but my room, with the view over the quad and my friends next door, feels safe and permanent in an idyllic sort of way 

I've learned how to make posh pot noodles with just a kettle, that broccoli doesn't steam in an egg boiler, that I really do miss my puppy and that rain can feel interminable. I have some insanely wonderful friends in this bizarre city, and am trying to fight the irrational thoughts that tell me I am alone. 

So all in all, good times, people. 

After a week of (10pm) nights out, I forced myself to sit with the discomfort of silence and calm last night, but quickly ran next door to Vassia's to paint instead. Something about this place makes being alone so hard. To recenter, I've booked a solo slot at the modern art gallery, to remind myself that my head is my own, and that this is an important and valuable thing to do. 

A new routine is gradually being adapted to, which happens every year but this more than any. Factoring in 10pm closing times, 6pm dinners, and having to clean my own room (shock! horror!). It's strange and a little uncertain, but isn't everything in this mad year.

So this year, my third, might be a little quieter than most. Maybe more evenings reading and chatting, painting or sleeping – but I am trying to remind myself that this is good. Different, but good. 

Now I must brave the rain to get my washing, and clean my bathroom as I've left it a little too long. 

How are you all adapting to a new term and a new life? Let's hope for some sun.