by way of an update

Tuesday 1st June. Words cannot explain how much has changed since I somehow found the time to write that post. 

That, in a post-Covid world, is undoubtedly an exaggeration – but I can't really believe I existed before finishing exams. 

That my life was scheduled, militarily, as thus:

Wake up, make coffee, do work, eat breakfast, go to the library, eat lunch, go to a different library, come home, revise more, make dinner, catch up, and sleep. 

Day, after god damn day.

It's been a 1.5 months of almost total bliss since; accidentally scrolling through my insta today threw me deep into the nostalgic longing for it all. The warmth, the laughs, the sleeping. 

Gosh, that first taste of Prosecco when I'd submitted my final exam, ran downstairs and into Sara's arms. The shaving foam and the holi paint and the grim water and the exhilaration that came with it. 

And then languid weeks of drinking and lounging and laughing, before being hurried home by corona, and then continuing exactly as we had. 

I spent a blissful week in Cornwall, and another in Northumberland. I opened my results on the side of a road in Corbridge, and cried and drank champagne and checked them again just to be sure. I felt ridiculously overwhelmed that it all paid off, and rang my friends and felt staggering pride. At my diss mark I felt the most elated – 12,000 of my own words on naked women in a seventh century desert castle and some obscure Arabic poems, and, frankly, she smashed it. As my Grandpa said, a first from one of the best uni's in the world – perhaps now is not the time to be humble. Girl is fuckin' proud. 

And since, I've worked a bit, went pottery painting, ran, watched copious Love Island, went clubbing (!), tried to learn some German, tried to sort out the life I am forging in Germany in T-1 month, and felt a bit liminal and a bit lost and a bit distant. 

Weird but exciting times. 

And now I look to some fun trips and birthdays, then moving abroad to scare myself but also to remind myself that this is something of what life is supposed to be about. I've then got graduation, when this crazy and monumental and exhausting process will finally cease, and I suppose then I have to process it all.

I can't wait to write more and read more now I have time, nd the products of this will undoubtedly be shared here, as always