surviving

Week one of exams fini.
The past 3 weeks have been, admittedly, close to some of the worst. But I know its not just me, my friends have cried and broken with the relentless nature of exams. It's involved so many tears, panic, phone calls, cries for help and required a whole new way of looking at myself and capabilities.
Today, I am exhausted beyond the point of function, my eyes fuzzy and my head clouded. I know I need to open my Othello text and stick my head in notes of the collapse of the GDR but not today.
This past week has been an exercise of self-care, so here are some tips on getting through the impossible.

Comfort: in your clothes, your surroundings, your food. Some things that helped me include reading Harry Potter, wearing old sweatshirts, dried pineapple and walks with dear friends.
Escape: my dear mum has driven me out the beach in pouring rain on numerous occasions this past week as 'long views' are supposed to add perspective and the openness allows me to escape the panic.
Tears: in exams, with friends, in the library, in hugs, in bed, in the bath. We've all decided tears drain the emotion and provide a sedated fatigue.
Help: asking for anything you need. For me this has been different seats in exams, trips to the doctors and constant emails and reassurance.
Sleep: aided by lavender scents and warm baths, it adds a little perspective.
Distraction: for me it has been planning my 18th in Budapest (!) and the political MADNESS that is unfolding in the UK.
Care: towards yourself and others. I feel everyone has been so nice towards each other recently (I probs could have played a greater role in this lol) but just kind texts and kind words and kind reassurance.
Perspective: as I cried on the phone to my mum in the school yard (yes I was such a MESS), epiphanic perspective dawned. They don't matter, I can resit, they aren't a true reflection, my health is so much more important. Whatever it is, remind yourself of the rationality.

But out of the ashes, some good things have emerged. The kindness addressed above, the recognition of the voice of the youth that WILL NOT BE SILENCED and the realisation that I need to look after myself.
I hope you are all coping a lil better than me (lol)

oo in lieu with 'self care' this was my pre-exam bath. SO EXTRA but gr8 nonetheless.