summer: the best bits

This fab but strange ol' summer is drawing to a close. Parts have been overwhelmingly euphoric, I've enjoyed the freedoms of my adulthood perhaps a little too much, explored, partied, laughed, celebrated and felt a slower pace of relaxation. And to be honest, its been bloody brilliant. Unfortunately, its also been tinged by overwhelming fear of 'the future' and has presented some of the rockiest mental health days. But, in the beauty of hindsight, it seems blessed in an air of bliss, happiness, laughter and love, for my best friends who have made it such a whirlwind.
Here are the best bits:

- Finishing A-levels
Nothing can describe the elation felt after our rom poetry exam, with mint questions and the freedom of summer it felt blissful (we could also justifiably get drunk for the first time in a long ol' while)
 - Seeing my Oxf. bff, even if it was for a 40 min lunch
- Leavers'...
For which I was, undeniably, too drunk and probs made a mega tit out of myself but had an absolute b-l-a-s-t and felt fab
- Interrailing
Exploring new cities, living with my best friends, travelling, being in the heat, seeing new culture, feeling adulty when we bought toilet roll and made pasta for tea, and just having the best time ever
- Turning 18 and the best night out in Budapest
- Spending days with friends who disappeared as a result of dreaded a-levels
- Numerous nights out, bar crawls and evenings in pubs (all of which were memorable and enjoyable, in their own way)
- Baking cakes and finding enjoyment in this hobby once more
- A weekend at the Fringe fest, most notable of which was the guilty feminist which was 10/10
- An evening at the beach, chatting and eating
- An art/sewing course which completely re-kindled (if momentarily) my buzz for creativity
- climbing to the top of a hill in the countryside in the evening sun and feeling open and free
- gardening with my mum, especially in the sun
- the absolute SHOCK when I opened my results envelope to 3 A*'s...
and the blissful day of complete elation that followed
- Results night out, ending up on the beach at 5am
- A fam holiday in France, where I felt somewhat remarkably relaxed and enjoyed the sun and sea, and escaping social media for a week
- getting back into blogging and feeling more connected
- Another night out with the most random group of people, but a total blast
- Getting my helix pierced woo

So, while I'm feeling utterly shit rn, I can look back and see that the past 10 weeks have been momentous and, for the most part, utterly enjoyable, if in a turbulent, adolescent way.
This has also reinforced the importance of keeping my diary. I had abandoned it as it was shit for my mental health, recording days I didn't want to remember or keeping me locked in the past that I don't wanna escape, but I realise its significance in remembering the good times. I need to find a healthier way to record my days.
So the gap year has begun. Fuck. But hey, you don't grow when you're comfortable.