All I really know is I haven't seen another person in the flesh since the nice lady who stuck a swab down my throat on Wednesday.
In a world where there is so much insurrection (see: Trump and the capitol) and crisis (see: state of emergency in London hospitals), my 10 days of iso are so minute. But they are also so alone and quite a feat of resolve, so here I am writing about it.
Things I have learned thus far:
Routine is essential, you can run a fast 10k and still find a 20 minute HIIT impossible, silence is terrifying and addictively avoidable, there's a lot of time and space to dissect yourself and feel alone and feel hated, eating when you can't taste is boring, and the days go by quicker than I thought they would.
Tonight, it all felt a bit interminable and I was acutely aware of my life in this box. I feel stressed about completing my extended essay whilst in this hermetic space, knowing I can't get any separation from this space and this mental state. But I don't have a choice, and it doesn't matter, and for fuck sake Katie, get on with it. I'm also a bit annoyed because my outfits have been popping (see: this hair scarf, my t-shirt/dress combo in the last post) and I've got to wait for their debut. I think perhaps the moments are most hard when I am between working sessions, or can hear my friends together next door, but every second that pasts is a second closer to a run and a glass of wine!
Some other things to look forward to:
Virtual breakfast with my grandparents tomorrow, two separate Tesco deliveries and maybe a chance to wave to someone out the window (!), a parcel for my mum that includes: pillows, running kit (for post-iso), skittles that I left in her bag, a book and all my room decs – all the eclectic things I left at home. I've also got some air dry clay (how did I bring that, but not pillows?) and have ordered some varnish and gold paint, so am going to spend an evening next week avoiding my essay and making a ring dish instead.
Thankful for having the mildest symptoms in the world, thankful for a beautiful view, thankful for my own space, thankful for technology and for kindness.
Peace and love x
Ah Katie, I'm so glad you are finding joy within these times. I hope that, physically, each day offers improvement. It's so necessary and healthy to focus on the good things that are coming, a good way to anchor in hope! Sending you warmth and positive vibes!!
ReplyDeleteZoe xo
delicate--musings.blogspot.com
For sure, it's quite a grounding process, isn't it? Lots of love! x
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