October.

October always rolls round and my days fill up with too many things to do and places to be. Once again, as a way to remember it, here are too many pictures and too many words.

My half term began with celebration at reaching a breathing point and then excitement and trepidation at what lay ahead the next day. I may do a separate post about this, but then again I may not. My friend and I set off at 4:30am the next morning, with 200 people we had met once before, on a day trip to Poland. We were visiting Auschwitz 1 and Birkenau as part of the Holocaust Educational Trust's Lessons From Auschwitz. Its a project that 2 students from schools across the country have the opportunity to take part in, we had to apply with an essay explaining why we should take part in the project. Its ethos is to educate the wider community of the atrocities that took place and continue to pass on what happened as the survivors age, preventing the ideas of Holocaust Denial from taking over.

A photo of the candles we all lit at the end of the ceremony in Birkenau held by a Rabbi that accompanied us


Okay, this is going to be wordy and long. I warn you now.
Its a 4 part project. The first seminar preparing us for what we would see and informing us that there is no one way to react, a talk from a survivor and some things for us to think about. The second was the one-day visit and a follow up seminar to discuss what we felt and discussing our ideas for the Next Steps. Then we have to produce an assembly, discussion or memorial to pass on what we saw.
I don't think words can describe what we saw. It felt like death, everything surrounded you screamed death. The statistics we learned, the stories we heard, the things we saw. They will stick with me forever. I don't feel I can say too much on the visit because words can't describe what you see and feel when you stand, surrounded by cattle sheds, in the remains of an industrial farm of death. But it is horrific. I felt angry and sad and terrified at the power of humans. And shame that we have not learned from our mistakes.
I am so privileged to have had the opportunity to go, with such educated, supportive leaders, to learn of what went on and tell others of our findings and will never forget what I saw and heard.

Understandably, we returned feeling exhausted, mentally and physically and I spent the day not really doing much. We felt it difficult to readjust to the life we live when we returned, feeling guilty for all our luxuries but had to remind ourselves that this is the life we are lucky enough to live. I went to see Suffragette in the evening which I thoroughly enjoyed and would recommend.

Next day I embarked on a lone trip to London to see a friend from Oxford. I spent the journey reading  and listening to drunk conversations. We met at Covent Garden and went to 26 Grains in Neal's Yard for brunch. Then we trekked to Colombia Rd flower market and wandered through the elegant resident terraces to Brick lane. It was a wash with people but we picked up juice from a colorful fruit stall and oriental food from a market. We spent the rest of the day exploring Covent Garden, Carnaby Street and, accidentally, the RA.


















The next day we drove to Sussex where we visited an outdoor museum that was excellent, wandered around Lewes, waked to the Seven Sisters, embarked on a mad geo-caching adventure in a muddy forest with 4 year olds in more appropriate footwear than I and eaten more cake than the lack of exercise would ever warrant. On our last day we visited Brighton. A day of exploring the Lanes, wandering a long the sea front and eating delicious food in French cafes. I have decided I rather like Brighton.



















After our 7 hour drive, I watched the rugby, went to a Hallowe'en party that felt rather anti-climatic, babysat at 9am the next morning and went to the final seminar for the project.
As I write this I am lying in bed, on Monday morning, after a run and enjoying the luxuries of a late start.

What have you been up to?
Katie x

p.s I spent too long editing photos and now I am going to be late for school ahhhh

Currently: Listening: nothing because I have finished my 3 month free trial of Apple Music and deciding whether I can justify signing up?//Reading: Just finished my favourite Great Gatsby (again)--Little Stranger-Sarah Waters//Loving: the beginning of the festivities//Lusting: another week off

What I eat in a day...

I am a lover of food; I love preparing it, I love eating it, I love photographing it. 90% of the time I eat what I consider to be healthy, I rarely eat crisps, sweets etc but if I do eat anything sugary it tends to be cake because damn does my mum make a good carrot cake. Of course, with school its hard to maintain a particularly exciting meal plan, usually sticking with the same thing for breakfast and lunch. I figured you wouldn't want to see my sandwiches so I decided to do this on a Saturday.
Here is my day in food:

Breakfast:
Dorset Cereal Simply Nutty Museli
Alpro Almond milk
Strawberries
Nectarine
Grapes

I am actually lactose intolerant but have decided, even if I wasn't, I would still drink almond milk. Its a lot better for you and tastes so much nicer in my opinion.This Dorset Cereal is my absolute favourite muesli, or even cereal, ever. Its not an exciting cereal but man its delicious.

Lunch:
Homemade humus/houmous(?)
Toasted Ciabatta
Asian Coleslaw
Guacamole (which you can't see because the avocados were too ripe and looked funky)
Houmous: 1 tin of chickpeas, a teaspoon of Tahini (you can use peanut butter), 1 tablespoon of olive oil, juice of 1 lemon, 1 clove of garlic, salt and pepper: put it all in a liquidizer and blend until smooth
Asian Coleslaw: cabbage + carrot grated with soy sauce, honey and ginger
Guacamole: Avocado, tomatoes, chilli, lemon, garlic

Snack:
A Nakd bar*
These are great, they are so natural, with just dried fruit and nuts and taste amazing. They give me so much energy and I can last with just one of these. I got mine directly from Natural Balance Foods, a website that stocks energy foods, and blummin tasty ones at that. I got sent a selection of flavours which is great because I can try them all-so far Cashew Cookie and Pecan Pie are my favourite. They are also dairy free which for me is a win!

Supper (tea?):
Cous Cous (with pomegranate, harrissa paste, pistachios etc)
Lamb
Guacamole
Salad
Roasted pepper and tomatoes
These are my favourite kind of meals, much lighter than other wintery meals and, in my opinion, a lot more flavoursome. I think this food is more summery which makes me sad as it reminds me that we are actually in October...
I would also in the day, eat many pieces of fruit and 3 cups of tea but I didn't think pears were that interesting to photograph.
What do you eat in a day? What is your favourite meal?
Katie x

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Currently: Listening: Ben Howard-The Fear//Reading: Great Gatsby-F. Scott Fitzgerald (ahh it will forever be my favourite)//Loving: My bed//Lusting: half term to come quicker

*I was sent these products to review, all opinions however remain  my own

Room Updates

My room had been looking a little tired, everything was similar to how it had been 2 years previous and, for someone who needs constant change, this was annoying me. Some features had also become impractical such as a desk that resulted in my doing all my GCSE revision on the floor due to it being too small, a chest of drawers that had one functioning draw and a pile of clothes that had no where to live. 
So the transformations began.












Mirror: found on gumtree, painted white
Drawers: Local pine furniture maker
Lamp: Ikea
Bowl: Tiger (£1-I wish I had bought more but I was going on the train after)
Jewelry bowl: Ikea
Camera: Fujifilm Instax 8

 For anyone with limited space or pedantic problems about room space, this is the perfect solution. I have mine drilled onto the back of my door so it takes up virtually no space.
Rail: Ikea
Hangers: Ikea










This area may require a little more explanation:
So this is where I spend 90% of my evenings, so I relish in it looking nice. A lot of the pieces you see in this area have been collected such as the motivational quotes (made by Alice), the K (made by a friend) and other little bits. I have pinned a clip up to hold papers in which I have found incredibly useful. I also went through a phase of printing every photo I took so ended up with hundreds and no idea what to do with them. I decided in order to display them and not damage my white walls, I would pin them up. Under my desk I keep pointless bits; make up packaging, magazines; things I don't really know what else to do with.
Lamp: Ikea
Desk: Ikea
Drawers: Ikea
Green boxes and file: Ikea
Chair: Gumtree (painted blue)
 K candle: Oliver Bonas
Little pegs: John Lewis (Christmas craft section)

Full room tour (a little out of date)
Post dedicated to my memory line

I hope maybe this has given you some room inspo or, if not, you got the satisfaction of looking around someone elses room-I love to be nosey.
I now need to shower as I have a party and am still in my pyjamas. Ahh
Katie x
Currently: Listening: Ben Howard-Conrad//Reading: Just finished Gorksy-Vesna Goldsworthy//Loving: Museli// Lusting: Piercings

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Catching a breath



This is not the first time I've written this or any post. Nor is it the second, or the third.
It has been so long. I have forgotten how to rhythmically type out my voice in a way that doesn't make me want to vomit in self indulgence. Its all self indulgent and narcissistic.
I like lists, they keep me concise and to the point, something I am teaching myself to be.
So, here's a list.
A list on why I am struggling to write*:
1) Time: its a lie, if I was desperate, I would find time. Although, I have spent 40 minutes trying to write and being unable to do so. And now I feel sick because I am wasting time.
2) Pressure on myself: "If I have time to write, I should have time to do extra French vocab or wider reading about the Russian Revolution" "I shouldn't have time to write"
3) Its too dark to take photos: It's not. You finish at 12:10 on a Friday and the sun is shining, take a photo.
4) The self indulgence: This is a real problem that has been swarming my mind. I don't want to bore people with the woes of my life, its not interesting, every time I sit to write an 'updates post', I get past "I started sixth form" then delete it all, it feels repulsively narcissistic**
5) Quality: None of it is good enough, I am unable to produce a single post I am happy with
6) Definition: I know what I want my blog to be, I just can't bite the bullet to take it there
7) Does anyone care?: I mean really, does anyone care if I have changed something in my bedroom, or if I bought a new top
8) Normality: I want to produce something different, do something different.

Even that anti-self indulgence list was self indulgent.
I thought time would heal this wound, apparently its leaving it gaping.

At least I will have something up on my blog, it won't seem quite as scary next time.

Katie x

*by write I mean blog but I don't like the word 'blog' for writing blogposts, ok
**I don't mean other peoples, I mean writing about my own, I enjoy reading other peoples pointless life updates, I do not enjoy making others read my own
***by saying "does anyone care" I am not fishing for compliments, no amount of reassurance will quell these fears, its a self confidence thang

Collecting parts of myself

I have a Peter Rabbit gift bag under my desk filled with meaningful rubbish; tickets from Paris, London, days out with friends, photobooth strips from any available opportunity (we love a good photobooth), quotes drawn on dark days and 101 postcards, either collected or gifted. In all honesty, its a bag of rubbish, but its meaningful, rather pastel rubbish that with holds my favourite memories and little parts of me that make up an odd paper representation. For years I have come home and put every momento inside my purse into this bag, thinking, one day I will display this all to remind me of this or that.
And, I finally got round to taking it out of its exceptionally aesthetically pleasing bag and stringing all the bizarre little things for the world to see.





I bought both the twine and the pegs from John Lewis and pinned a string up on my wall, pegging all the items to it.



Not only when I am working away on my desk next year, caught in the wrath of Sixth Form, can I look up to see reminders of my favourite people and happy moments, but it also pleases me immensely because of just how aesthetic it is; the pastel colours, maybe a little over used but still looking wonderfully Pinterest in a jumbled way.
Maybe I hold too much of myself and too much love in these pointless pieces of paper but it makes me happy to collect little things like this.
It also makes a lovely bag to look through.
Do you collect tickets and pieces from special days?
Katie x
Currently: Listening: nothing new//Reading:Still trudging on with The Picture of Dorian Gray-its only 177 pages but has taken me a good month to read, I guess because its for school//Loving: Tea//Lusting: Dungarees

Edinburgh 2015

My final summer adventure consisted of a rather complicated train journey up to Edinburgh to check out the Fringe Festival and simply explore. I was accompanied by my friend Maddie which was awesome as she lives in Oxford and we don't get to see each other very often.
We pre-booked 2 festival events and decided we would spend the rest walking around, eating and soaking up the atmosphere.











Another lifestyle post, far too long with far too many photos however I wanted to include our itinery simply for my future recollection.
1) We walked around Edinburgh in the rain looking for a cafe, ending up in the New Town, far too hungry.
2) Ate cake and drank 'boutique' tea at Eteaket where the tea was unusual but delicious, the interior cool and minimal and the cakes, expensive, a little too sweet and tasting slightly of the plastic dome-sorry I am a cake critic.
3) Walked through the New Town to George Street to see a photography exhibition-good but the photos were a little too small
4) Wandered round, popped into Zara (heavenly) and explored
5) Walked to George Square-fantastic food stalls, an amazing vibe and very photogenic.
6) Watched Best of The Fest which was amusing, horrifying (due to audience participation), and good  fun then ate the lunch we bought before from a Thai stall.
7) Went in the wackiest photobooth in an old caravan with mad props
8) Got expensive (it is a Capital city, what did I expect?) drinks from Peters Yard, a very suave Swedish cafe, minimalistic and all. I drank my 3rd coffee of the day-I don't normally drink coffee.
9) Went to the Fruitmarket Art Gallery by the station, the exhibition was awesome, kind of derelict and cumbersome but in a very beautiful, calming way-if that is possible. They also have a very good book shop.
10) Went to H&M because it is my new obsession then realised we were late and sprinted to the Assembly hall
11) Watched Traces which was AMAZING-kind of an amalgamation of acrobatics, dance, circus all in a modern, dark, edgy show-it was brilliant and well worth the slightly pricier ticket.
12) Bought food from Sainsbury then ran up the mound to watch the sun set and jumped on a bloody busy train back home.

Tips for first time Fringe Festival go-ers (like me)
- pack an umbrella/coat-its so unpredictable
- don't get overwhelmed by the fringe website-its manic, just pick a small selection of things you want to see
- don't over book-2-3 shows is more than enough for one day, otherwise it becomes hectic and exhausting
- Royal Mile is awesome during festival time, in a sort of tacky, touristy way-be sure to walk up it

Once again I have written too much but it feels wondrous to be back at my key board typing, after failing my 'summer blogging goals'.
Have you been to Edinburgh festival?
Katie x
Currently: Listening: Still in love with Tom Odell//Reading: Dorian Gray//Loving: Nectarines//Lusting: a tan and some jewelry.