musings #4

Fuck man, its June!

(as always all pics are from pinterest, found here)
past:
I have: tried on a lot of very ugly swimwear, read, partied, baked a lot of cakes, drank a lot gin, cried a few times, ran a lot, burned out, denied myself r&r (must! not! stop!), bought too many pairs of culottes, had an evening picnic on the beach, ate bircher muesli, tried and failed to curb my fruit consumption, enjoyed wine, dreamed of summer picnics w pals, worked an absurd number of hours, had some very good days and some quite bad days, felt nostalgic that this year is coming to an end, adored the sun but felt sad I had to spend so much of it inside, laughed, flirted, documented a lot in my journal, had a sick flute lesson (legit its the most cathartic therapy, for me the hour is the most essential form of weekly self-care), tried to tackle my reading list and sewed a hideous prototype of a dress lmao.

present:
Its Friday. I've spent the day being paid to make cakes. I've got my window open, tunes blasting, and an ethereal golden light streaming through. I am shattered beyond most measures but trying to take advantage of these seconds of peace. This evening has been blissfully mundane, a bath, a run and a peng risotto. Ah, breathe.

future:
Tomorrow I go to Manchester for the night. Mixed feelings.
My friends come home next week. Hype for mint nights out, evenings in, day trips, laughter, familiarity, a long ol' summer. Also ambiguity and stress because we're all gonna b so busy and idkk will shit get organised??? will our schedules align?? (the answer is: everyone else's will because I'm the only fucker who works days) also stress because all the things I wanna do and wanna achieve and places I wanna go but when will I a) fit them in, b) get round to organising them, c) what happens if something is actually happening at home and I don't wanna go???
But, 3 weeks today I'll be basking in Hungarian sunshine and drinking £2 mojitos and gurl I am HYPED.
I also came to the (slightly concerning) realisation that I said yes to so many shifts that I don't have a single day off in June (aside from 2 weekends away) but I think its gonna be okay?? money and busy-ness are both good and this year has taught me the acquired skill of a 7 hour shift after a night out.

SO yeah! I've been busy and a bit sad but also excited and reflective. Nothing new there.
Let me know what you've all been up to!

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